and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
