woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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