I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
