Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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