Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
