I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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