Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
