...so i touched it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
