check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it's great music for shaving your balls
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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