Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
