You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Randomize
