Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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