Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You're like the curious george of whores
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
