ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
