People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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