I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
