very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
