ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
