I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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