This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize