he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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