Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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