this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
