next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
