and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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