goodnight i made you a song goodbye
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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