so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Did you just see the Batmobile???
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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