Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
