My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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