Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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