My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
