His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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