I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize