Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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