We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
