So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
