I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize