Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
