blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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