If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She announced her abortion via fbk
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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