New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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