She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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