I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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