If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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