I have demons in me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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