i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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