So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
