Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
