I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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