apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
