went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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