I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
