shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
