He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
