What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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