it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
