I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
