Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
