Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize