Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
