How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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