just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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