i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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