I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
