things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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